Since my last post, I have graduated from engineering school and started working at King County as a contract position for the Roads Department. My contract is up February 26th, and now I am about to approach a new chapter in my life. For the last two weeks, I have been freaking out about what I should do after my contract is up. The more I dwell on it, the bigger the storm of possibilities grow in my head, and the more off balance I feel.
Today I decided to go the Bakery Nouveau to work on job apps, resume, research travel opportunities, non-profit start-ups, and many of the other post-King County possibilities that have been scattering around my brain.
I ordered a butter croissant.
I sat down next to the sunny window table, took out my laptop, but then took a bite of the croissant. It just melted in my mouth and I lost complete motivation to work. As I was enjoying this croissant, an older, larger italian man named Raul, came up and asked if he could share my table since the place was bustling about with the Sunday crowd. Without thought, I invited him to sit with me. Raul sat down and took a bite of his butter croissant. He was in complete bliss. A couple minutes passed while we both ate these wonderfully fulfilling croissants until we started talking. At first it was just small talk about the amazing bakery, sunny January weather, and where we were from. But then we started talking about what we did for a living. Raul is a cook, lover of fine art, and is learning how to play the tabla. I am a young engineer, working a 40-hr week in a cubicle, repeating the same calculations hour after hour. I explained my situation of ending my current employment soon and needing to figure out what is next. He patiently listened, and then asked if I had headphones, and wanted to hear what a tabla sounded like as he motioned to his iPod. With a bit of hesitation at the odd request, I decided to pull out my headphones and plug them into his iPod. He played The Beatles, "Within You Without You," which used the tabla as the percussion undertone for the song. The tabla sound reminded me of large water droplets trickling off a flooded gutter in melodic rhythm. The storm in my brain started to settle, and I felt like calm blue skies. It was as if this man knew just what I needed to hear at that very moment.
We continued talking for about an hour on a wide variety of topics, but what resided with me was his advice on my next steps.
"The universe can open many opportunities to you, but it's your heart that leads you."
There are SO many opportunities available at the moment, especially when you are young with not very many responsibilities. You have the power to create your fate, don't be forced into something your heart does not want to do. But don't be afraid to let your experiences mold you.
For me, I already knew this advice, but have I been following it? Yes and no. I am very thankful for all the experiences I have had, even my current job. But I was letting these outside notions of needing employment or even a plan right after my contract is up, fester in my head and make my heart unhappy. I still don't truly know what I want to do for a career, but I am not going to force myself into a situation if my heart is truly not feeling it.
For what was supposed to be a productive Sunday in terms of job apps, it was a productive Sunday for my mental health and heart.
Seattlelites--please talk to strangers, they may just shed some needed light into your life. Raul--thank you for the wonderful croissant chat this morning, I really needed that.
